Childhood is a time for growth, much like any part of life, but childhood often influences how we behave in most aspects of our lives. I know, from experience, that those behaviours and habits are very hard to break. Once broken, however, you receive an overwhelming sense of renewal. I am renewed. I still have memories, and my physical traits, of course, that serve as a daily reminder of where I’m from, but I often put them out of mind, likely as a way to protect myself. My health has been on a downward decline over the last two months. I have lost nearly 30 lbs, become quite weak, and noticed a large amount of my hair begin falling out. My doctor suspects I have Lupus, but much like anything, a great deal of waiting is required for a diagnosis. When I was a child, I thought that I was condemned to a life of emotional pain, rotten luck, and unhappiness, but the years have told me to stop thinking that way, and open my eyes to possibilities and positivity. I went seeking help for PTSD, and began my journey to recovery. My journey is ongoing and filled with surprises.

I can’t help be reminded of the good things my parents did for me, which is a terrible way for me to think. They did far more bad than good, and I am better off an orphan. I have friends, and my boyfriend and his family, which makes all of this pain worth while. I live on, separate from them, but I really live.