If you’re tired and managed to grab a seat, good. Pay no attention to your neighbors and just slump left and right as the train accelerates and slows down. You may one day see yourself featured on some gaijin (foreigner) blog about sleeping salarymen in Japan.

If you’re drunk, just lie down anywhere available. Seats, floor, across seats and floor. May I suggest the luggage rack? Congratulations, your chances to make a guest appearance on a gaijin blog have increased by 1000%. Bonus points for loud snoring, puke or open zipper.

If the only available seat is next to a gaijin, just move along. Do NOT seat next to them. Walk a few steps, turn around and watch as they attempt to hold back tears of gratefulness at your heroic selflessness, leaving them more space to sit and enjoy their short stay.