There were screams to be heard from every corner this morning as folks arrived at the Maps.com offices in Goleta to discover that office equipment, chairs and desks had been infested by giant man-eating spiders. Numerous calls to the contract cleaners yielded no results, in fact a confused manager was herself seeking the whereabouts of a team of 3 janitors who had not been seen since they left for Cremona Drive on Friday evening.
As well as large quantities of cobwebs obstructing access, three 5’ wide rolls of sticky web material were found propped up in the cleaning cupboard and were removed by members of the printing crew.
It isn’t clear how the spiders entered the building but several displaced ceiling tiles suggest that they may have entered from the roof. An inquiry to the Deckers office on the upper floor was also fruitless - the offices of the global shoe designer appeared to be in darkness, presumably due to some sort of off-site training session.
A pest control crew are currently on site and hope to have the situation under control before the end of the business day.
In other news, there is no update on the 4 Cartographers who did not make it to work today and failed to call in sick.
When a dog just starts following you around in the middle of nowhere
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