Also maybe don’t get the Pide with runny salmonella-y egg at the friendly turkish restaurant, because you’ll miss a day of sightseeing in moscow and exchange it for a day of fitful sleep, a hurting stomach, and multiple trips to the bathroom while you nervously know that one of those trips will taste like stomach acid and it finally happens and then you’re suddenly covered in sweat in those 15 seconds it takes to vomit, you sleep the entire day, drinking an entire 2 liter bottle of sparkling water and never taking a piss because you need liquids, my sick man.

At least this is the cleanest hostel on the face of this earth.