I can’t say that it’s the order of operations one usually imagines. I certainly didn’t. After all, apartments are the essence of city living. I always hoped it would be a house we’d leave for. But regardless of it’s form, being someone who never had any ambition to live in this city, leaving it is monumental.
As my wife and I scrimp and scrounge to prepare for the purchase, I find myself terrified and liberated. Liberated from the daily preoccupation with what I might purchase next, terrified that I’ll go a bit crazy without that next object to focus on.
This is the stuff of commitments. As with all things worth having, we trade away certain freedoms (often luxuries) to acquire something more meaningful. And interestingly enough, that meaning is often born of, and cultivated by, the very commitment we fear and freedoms we surrender.
A few more days
A final Hi meeting
The local neighborhood bar has a quiet time between six and nine. It is a place that specializes in coffee, beer and seasonal menus. There is just enough of each for a satisfying snack and effective buzz. After the time when the laptop lids close and before the social gatherings start -- there is a sort of twilight*. Often this time is a fugitive ground rife with creative inspiration and meditative work -- of the kind that results in personal reward.*twilight may refer to civil, nautical or astronomical variety depending on your social or terrestrial condition
A man positions his mouse on the edge of his browser window. He clicks, holds and drags the viewport first left then right. The content of a video game promo micro site responds and adapts to the available space. To the man, this is more delightful than the game itself.
A man laboriously moves his piano down three levels onto the subway platform. Classic vocals and strided chords -- he played so well I swore he was blind. Oblivious to the heat on that August stage, he was most in touch with his audience -- whom he elevated with his music.
A woman should do exactly as she pleases no matter what a man may think.
As the Dalai Lama once said, "It is a time when there is much in the window, but nothing in the room."
"No one understands me," she said. Her grandmother was silent for a minute. It seemed she was searching for an answer in the star speckled sky. "But no one understands anyone in this world, darling. We are all unique. It is what gives us a sense of wonder."