My meditation this morning was about how to receive love. Hungover and unable to focus after New Year’s celebrations, I wasn’t too impressed by the thought: Who doesn’t want love?

But then I remembered just last night that I felt, despite everything, the most melancholy and alone I’d ever felt on the last day of the year. Fireworks in the sky, shadows inside. It didn’t make any sense. There’s so much wonder in my life and yet I couldn’t shake myself out of it.

So maybe I do have a lot to learn about this stuff. I’ll make that resolution #1: learn to receive love. Stop worrying about not good enough. And stop retelling that old story where there always has to be a loser for every winner.