#2: How to be alone.

January 5th, 2015, 11pm

I wrote a #1, so I figured, why not keep going? Resolution #2: learn how to be alone.

It sounds ironic coming from me. I’ve spent my whole life “alone,” relationship-wise, and I’ve managed to travel solo for months, but I still don’t think I’m much good at it.

We’re constantly hearing how important it is to be our own person, to have high self-esteem, to stand apart, to be ourselves —- yet we still think of solitude as some kind of malady to be dealt with. We worry about our single friends and relatives (ugh) to the point that they internalize it as a problem, make companionship seem like this coveted thing to attain, reinforcing a false narrative of “something’s missing.” We’re told that maddening aphorism about love finding you only when you’re not looking for it, but are worried about when seen doing precisely that.

What I’m saying is, I’m sure all that is terrific, but it’s not worth all the grief we ascribe to not having it.

I’ve always treated the advantages of solitude as lemonade from lemons. Maybe it’s time I stop thinking of it as an evil to be dealt with.

One day I’ll wholeheartedly give up being alone. But until then, I want to learn to embrace and explore, above all, the beauty and depth of its silence.

Peter, David Wade, Ricardo, Jo and 13 others said thanks.

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Aaron Palabyab

Filmmaker. MNL and the world. http://www.aaronpalabyab.com/

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