My well-meaning friends often tell me to stop over-thinking things, over-analyzing situations, and thinking myself into a hole. They’re not wrong. Sometimes it is easier to just jump in and do something, instead of thinking endlessly to nowhere.

My well-meaning colleagues and managers tell me to ask more questions so that I can learn faster. To make myself a part of the conversation. That’s good advice, and I am grateful. If there’s anything I learned from college, it’s that sometimes I should just ask instead of stubbornly trying to figure things out myself.

Probably well-meaning acquaintances and strangers sometime tell me to smile more. That I am too intimidating, or unfriendly-looking. I think they’re right (though I don’t really get it), and I’m working on it.

… But there’s a part of me that wonders, why do I have to do things everyone else’s way? Why is “friendly, proactive, but not overly cerebral” some kind of ideal? What’s wrong with sometimes taking a few long moments to mull over something? Why can’t I over-think the meaning of life and sometimes let myself be a little blue? What if I just want to absorb and process first, before I jump to any question-asking? Do I really need to look happy and friendly all the time?

Sometimes, I’m just slow. I like to gather my thoughts, go thorough, cover all my bases before I start shooting out questions. Maybe I don’t like to ask that many questions because any unprepared question would get shot down with a “Well, please go check that first then before asking!” response. Or maybe because I don’t want to ask because I don’t think you have the answer.

Maybe I just don’t feel like smiling at you today.

Maybe sometimes I am just stubborn, grumpy, and a little bit introverted.

What’s wrong with that?

Sometimes we should learn to appreciate the quiet, the slow, the more passive. (And that goes for me too.)