Twenty Sixteen.

March 2nd, 2015, 6pm

Things change. Way too fast.

One second you think this is it, what you and your life is supposed to be like, things are great and then BAM.

Everything changes.

Good changes, bad changes, they’re all there, and they all take time for one to adapt to.

It’s tough getting used to and attached to one routine, one way of life, and then having to leave it and adapt to a whole new one. It’s so tough and exhausting.

And I’m exhausted.

I want time to freeze. I just want it to stop. Not forever, but just for a while.

Please, I want to live this moment a little longer. I want to breathe in a little slower. I want to stop moving and just stay here for a while.

Time’s coming too fast at me, and it’s ironical that I can slowly feel myself lose control.

There’s no silence anymore. It’s all chaos.

I want time to freeze. I want life to freeze. Not forever, but just for a while, until

Until…

Until?

Until what? I asked myself.

Until when?

Just, why?

Why this reign of obscurity?

Why are you being like this?

Why are you lost?

Why are you feeling purposeless?

Are your relationships consuming you? No.

Are your troubles becoming too burdening for your shoulders? No.

Then. Just. Why.

Figure your shit out. Take control of your feelings before your feelings take control of you.

Stop spinning. You’re moving without progressing. That’s pointless and exhausting. Oh, so exhausting.

Why are you so exhausted? Just, why.

{Excerpt from the first entry of 2016 in my diary, Volume Seven}

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Ishita Doval

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