She is many things : beautiful, talented, refined, has good taste but can’t read nor write. Not that she’s never been in the classroom… But somehow she was not able to learn how to decrypt the code.
She met a boy who swept her off her feet. They had what I would like to imagine to be beautiful sex, she got pregnant and her dream to be an office secretary came to an end.
12 years into time, she’s a mother of three.
She’s lost all self-confidence and feels like she cannot be anything without this man who - seemingly successful now - doesn’t want her anymore.
Three nights ago, I heard a knock on my door. I was sleeping - I had struggled to get sleep and I wasn’t going to wake up - I paid no attention . Then through my bedroom window, I heard a familiar voice… Sammy, sammy, sammy!!!
In my attempt to get the voice to stop, I answered.
“My wife is threatening to kill herself”; he told me calmly. And this is the third occasion she saying this. I want to first report to you - so I have a witness in house - and then make a police report in the morning.
“Why” ; I asked sleepily.. Because I told her , I don’t want her anymore.
Her husband wished that her wife was more refined . Like everyone else after a while we start to want more. Or perhaps we start to want something new.
12 years is a long time and the the juice in the relationship needs to be renewed. It needs to be channeled through something new and refreshing…
And though she’s changed a bit , the change hasn’t been radical enough.
I know: if only one day she would decide to take a reading class and alter some of her habits - like idle talking - And love herself more. He will appreciate her more. Perhaps her husband will see her anew and love her again and want her again.
Because she is many things: She’s a self-taught hair dresser A good mother And an ever beautiful 30 year old mother.
I know this woman would mean more to her husband and her children.
I know this woman would mean more to herself. She would realise she can do anything.
Coming to terms with Loneliness
The going away of things
In the end
I can't seem to be optimistic about the things that would benefit from optimism. As a pessimist, my optimism is always irrational.
Fear of Forgetting
When I was a child, I realised I was invisible. I was a terrified, quiet girl who blended into the background.
Failure.We all have dreams, we are all encouraged to dream. The world is ours, all we have to do it take it.