What the fuck is the date today? Let’s talk about being alone, for a second, because I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around it. I’ve been by myself in Turkey for six days, which is how long it’s been since everybody I know here evacuated for the holiday. They are in Greece, Vienna, southern Italy, France. I am here. It’s not bad, just interesting.
I am continually on the edge of being depressed or being brilliant, but I think it would be different if the book I was reading wasn’t so boring or if there was something new happening in the news. (Shutdown, shutdown, shutdown.) (Echo, echo, echo.)
(I do not really think I am on the verge of brilliance. What I mean is “productivity.”)
I rent movies, practice Spanish, go to restaurants that look nice, drink precise amounts of chilled white wine. Then I write, feeling private and interesting. I know being alone makes me seem strange, and people are suspicious, then welcoming. I’ll take the public fascination with my aloneness while it lasts. (Charming in a young girl, pitying in an older.)
People write me while I’m sleeping, and I wake up, grateful, with lots of letters to answer. Thank you, time change.
E. says he eats just one, large meal a day — out, at cheap restaurants— to save money. I don’t know how he has the self-restraint to be a gorger. I admire him for this.
I didn’t leave to be here, but to be away from other things, so loneliness as punishment is fair. I thought it was my job that wasted so much of my time, but really, it’s me that wastes my own self.
Do you think I look older? Certainly paler.
In the meantime, keeping panic at bay and sleeping like an angel. It’s a cold, rainy day and I am going to eat a hot, sesame-crusted simit.
The Night of the Coup
A bomb gone off on Istiklal ...
I might not remember
I want to return to Istanbul
For all motorcycle riders and lovers....Istanbul is a really big city. Big cities brings big problem also. Especially in traffic. Sometimes it can turn into nightmare. Intercity Istanbulpark
Symbiosis between birds and ferries
one year ago today.