Got the news that my car died today, blew the engine- timing belt issue. Way. And I mean WAY more than I can afford to fix. The first tow was to a local place where they told me they couldn’t do anything and handed me an invoice of ‘no charge’ with ‘Car arrived DOA’ noted. The second tow was to the dealer who hours ago delivered the news ‘You need a new engine.’ So I write this with ABC’s ‘Poison Arrow’ from 1982 blasting.

In 2006 I traded in my pre-midlife crisis 1999 Cadillac Sedan DeVille for a new Mini Cooper S in a color they call ‘white pepper’. Don’t know how they arrived at the color, all I think of is pepper, and then I think of the bits of whisker left on a sink when you shave with an electric shaver- which to me looks like pepper from the shakers at an all-night Denny’s. At the time I was seeing a lot of Latin guys in the city and across the river in ‘Jersey. I loved the Caddy and the thing booked with its Northstar aluminum V8. It was like a dance hall in there with the incredible sound system. One day barreling down the BQE with a new guy he asked me ’So- you’re a cab driver?’ which is when I realized the largest production car made in 1999 was not giving me the right image. Soon I was seeing Alberto and he said ‘Baby, jou need to get a new car’ and he just happened to have friend that sold Minis. He worked at Bergdorfs so I took his sartorial advice to heart. And so it was that I bought the Mini.

Alberto came to an end. One day I drove up to see him but- and no kidding- I searched an ENTIRE hour for parking- driving around and around. And around. Places far enough away to make me wish I had left the bike on top to quicken what was to be a long walk. Finally I gave up and drove back down the turnpike and away from Alberto. Not meant to be. LIVE IN A COMPLEX WITH A PARKING SPOT!

I loved the Latin guys, not only gorgeous with the deepest, most irresistible eyes (and the accent) but so much fun, music, dancing, drama, crazy conversations. They always had crazy religious art around, Saint candles, crosses on chains, Mary and Jesus paintings. I’m not religious, but that stuff mesmerized me. For a long while I made it a point to always have a tall Saint candle burning at home and bought a crucifix to hang from the car’s mirror. On trips to the city I’d bring the Saint candle along and burn it while driving to keep me company while playing cumbia on the Mini’s awesome sound system.

Well, anyway, that’s how it started. And now it has ended. Pictures on my Facebook. I’m kinda’ sad. Shoot that poison arrow.