Scared by your own self

May 1st, 2016, 1pm

It was 15°C with clouds and visibility OK. The breeze was gentle.

Do you ever feel scared, threatened that you can’t read or understand all of your partner’s feelings and thoughts? Ever wanted to creep into that little mind of theirs and see it all clear without all the arguments and miscommunication? Well, imagine this you get into that mind- but you can’t put any of the pieces together- in fact, you can’t even see the pieces, it’s all codes and words from an inhuman language. That is how I feel sometimes- but the brain I’m hijacking is my own. And nothing seems to make sense. I wonder if others experience this or if it’s only my mind that’s corrupt, uncontrollable by its owner- me.

It’s quite scary when you can’t even understand or control the one thing in this world that you should have at least some power over. Is it a sign of weakness? Am I missing a few screws?

My very own feelings can scare me sometimes, or make me highly uncomfortable. The feelings can also be unidentified, which makes me wonder just how much that isn’t discovered by myself yet. Maybe it’s a red flag. A sort of warning sign that my body so kindly made to warn me about something, now what that something may be is obviously unknown.

I like to believe that being alone with yourself (notice the oxymoron) is a necessity and it’s important to be able to be alone without dying from boredom. You were born alone and you will die alone, therefore, create a healthy relationship with yourself so you can be alone and happy.

I no longer have energy for meaningless relationships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations.

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Anja Bryant

Hello, fellow authors! I'm just a kid with a passion for writing really unplanned, messy and imperfect texts. I hope to improve my writing skills, and also read others work. Have a nice day! xo

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