It took me a while to remember how it was like last year when I shared my 30th birthday with you. A little panicked by the blank that my memory drew - a long loading bar of white fog, I was searching my ephemeral data base of thoughts and memories to recall where I was.
This year was one of the hardest year so far. Every year was particularly difficult - we all have our struggles. But this year, 2013, was spectacularly chaotic.
In less than two weeks, my daughter (at the time she was 1 year old) and I moved everything to New York to follow my husband. It was an exciting time as I was counting the days until I would be able to go back to NYC with them.
NYC with a toddler. Finding a daycare. Trying to fit in. Getting fired. Creating and giving myself a VISA and starting a career. Finding an acupuncture doctor. Moving again to a rat free / flood free apartment. Catching the farmers markets. Cooking and eating well. Being the auberge espagnole of the entire world visiting New York (we hosted over 50 visitors this summer alone). Losing hope. Crying. Getting up, dusting myself and trying again. Incorporating. Focusing. Playing. Building.
I’m looking forward for the next year. Bring it on 31. I’m ready.
A few more days
A final Hi meeting
The local neighborhood bar has a quiet time between six and nine. It is a place that specializes in coffee, beer and seasonal menus. There is just enough of each for a satisfying snack and effective buzz. After the time when the laptop lids close and before the social gatherings start -- there is a sort of twilight*. Often this time is a fugitive ground rife with creative inspiration and meditative work -- of the kind that results in personal reward.*twilight may refer to civil, nautical or astronomical variety depending on your social or terrestrial condition
A man positions his mouse on the edge of his browser window. He clicks, holds and drags the viewport first left then right. The content of a video game promo micro site responds and adapts to the available space. To the man, this is more delightful than the game itself.
A man laboriously moves his piano down three levels onto the subway platform. Classic vocals and strided chords -- he played so well I swore he was blind. Oblivious to the heat on that August stage, he was most in touch with his audience -- whom he elevated with his music.
A woman should do exactly as she pleases no matter what a man may think.
As the Dalai Lama once said, "It is a time when there is much in the window, but nothing in the room."
"No one understands me," she said. Her grandmother was silent for a minute. It seemed she was searching for an answer in the star speckled sky. "But no one understands anyone in this world, darling. We are all unique. It is what gives us a sense of wonder."