Star Trooper Alaric, American Sniper: Chris Kyle Class”

In the year ACC 3420, Star Trooper Alaric returned to earth from his first half-millennium duty tour of nearby star systems. His crew understood very well that although earth culture was theoretically and organizationally controlled (just like the colony planets), nevertheless, entirely unlike the colony planets, Mother Earth was also deemed free as the framers of the 2085 Constitution had put it. Therefore, anything in the way of cultural evolution might be found on re-entry. But no one had been prepared for the absolute radio cacophony they encountered as they reached hailing distance of the home planet.

After several weeks of close observation of the planet from Space Station “Guns Ablaze”, it became clear that nothing whatsoever remained of Earth Unified Command. Literally thousands of local and regional, social and cultural, entities took its place, “letting a hundred flowers blossom and a hundred schools of thought contend” as Mao ZeDong might have put it.

This situation terrified Alaric and indeed it terrified all of Sniper Ship Command. Of course, once the enemy was identified, their calm mission would be utterly clear: kill and kill again. But, each of the thousands of cultural entities had its own distinct dynamic. How could the gloriously skilled and profoundly patriotic snipers know whom to kill? Discovering the appropriate killees might take years for each and every one of the multifarious entities.

Sniper Ship Command was not deterred. They would study the entities one at a time for 12 hours each to determine whom the Snipers should kill.

1. Kayenta Entity - Re-emergent Navajo Culture.

Alaric fought to take his eyes from the loathsome creature crouched head downward in its web. The huge spider’s body was longer than any human, even those of Kaobab 2, where genetic experimentation guidelines had been so relaxed. The Kayenta Jungle referred to the arid country known in ancient times (Before Climate Change) as the Four Corners.

His eyes - finally released from the hideously mesmerising, 8 legged shape - came to rest on the utterly beautiful, utterly motionless, Navajo face before him. “Haseya, we are here to protect you and your people. We have the power to completely exterminate this monster that has taken over your lands.” With those masterful words, Alaric directed his beam at Grandmother Spider and burst into song in the staccato rhythms of the Kyle Anthem:

Chris Kyle Anthem (in the prophet Kyle’s own words)

people ask a lot did it bother you killing? did it bother you killing? did it bother you killing?

I tell them, “No.” and I mean it. you kill your enemy, you see it’s okay.

you do it again. And again. you do it again. And again. you do it again. And again.

I loved what I did. I’d be back in a heartbeat. I loved what I did. I still do.

it was fun!

it was fun!

I’m not lying to say it was fun.

Haseya, the lovely young Navajo woman, felt great compassion for the mad man Alaric. She watched sadly as his raythonic beam burst the Great Spider into a million pieces, while also bursting her egg bag so that untold numbers of small spiders descended onto the Star Troopers, each trooper receiving a single bite on the back of the neck. Haseya with open arms received the new mother spider into her hands proudly bearing the noble creature to her new home.

Note #1 This Hi sketch is a science fiction story set in the future and is not intended as a retelling or an extension of the sacred stories of the Diné or other Native American Tribes. The author wishes to express his utmost respect for these traditional stories which should only be told by those who speak with tribal authority.

”[Grandmother Spider] is creator of the world in Southwestern Native American religions. Although accounts vary, according to mythology she was responsible for the stars in the sky; she took a web she had spun, laced it with dew, threw it into the sky and the dew became the stars. Navajo mythology tells of Spider Woman or Spider Old-Woman (Na’ashjéii Asdzáá). According to the Zuni, string games were given to them by Grandmother Spider. And was fire-bringer for Choctaw peoples. Traditional Navajo/Diné limit the telling of stories involving Spider Grandmother to the winter months, known as “the season when Thunder sleeps”, when it is safe to discuss certain dangerous spirits, such as Spider Woman and Northern Thunder (whence the season takes its name), and esoteric topics, such as the Emergence narrative.” (Wikipedia)

Note #2 This Hi sketch is intended as an imaginative response to the film “American Sniper.” See also here and here. For another Hi sketch based on the Chris Kyle story, check here.