Some days, you go in to work and beat your head against an existential wall until either you or it breaks down into component atoms.
Other days you’ll go in to work, and you’ll eke out a small victory over whatever forces are conspiring to make you wish you’d taken up professional knitting or ferret wrangling.
But, one day, you’ll go in to work and have a customer tell you there’s a giant tortoise at the Applebee’s across the street playing in the grass.
You’ll promptly scoop up the customers, bar the shop, hop on bikes, and go play with a giant tortoise in the noon sunshine. Everyone will take turns getting pictures with it because we’re all desperately trying to prove we’re not hallucinating to everyone we’ve been frantically texting.
The world will seem infinitely full of possibilities after this. There’s nothing to stop you from finding an elephant in place of your car, or the milk suddenly turning to whiskey.
And that’s fine! Let the universe conspire to make you happy. It’ll make your head more resilient when you’re back at your desk, beating down those walls.
Hosts of Christmas Past
Morning light isn't condescending when you actually slept the night through.
The South has two religions in the fall - NCAA football and Jesus. I'm usually outside the church.