She didn’t show up.

I sat for a while, then I walked for a while, then I sat for another while. A woman asked me about parking, complimented me on my beard. I kept my windbreaker on for the distant rumbling and foul-looking sky, despite the sweat starting to roll down my back. I passionately stared at Twitter as a beautiful woman walked by.

I tried meditating, but that didn’t do much. People were walking and driving and talking like assholes, loudly and abruptly. Eventually I gave up. I resigned myself to the awkwardly-spaced stairway to the parking lot, climbed into my mother’s van, and paid the robot.

People were still driving like assholes. All the way home, assholes. A man in a Toyota, driving assholishly, was finally put to my mercy. I blocked the son of a bitch for a mile.

As I pulled into the garage, I thought, “Maybe I’ll just watch it online.”

And then she called.