I want badly to be a novelist. I’ve wanted it my entire life. My mother printed and bound a story I wrote when I was about five, and from that moment on becoming a writer was officially The Dream. The thing about dreams, though, is that they’re always remote enough to be safe. When you’re a five-year-old kid pandering to your parents’ easy praise, or third grader with a hundred composition notebooks half-full of abandoned stories, or a middle school nerd writing in a diary every night, or a high school junior in an advanced composition class, or a college freshman writing for the school newspaper, or a recent graduate whose audacious cover letters rely on nothing but fluff and “writing ability” – in the background of all those scenarios hints the promise of “some day.” Becoming a novelist will happen “some day” down the road. Like all dreams, it will simply fall into place once life has begun… right?
Lately, the realization has crept up on me: there is no anointed hour in which the Gods of Google Calendar will add the event “Become Novelist” to the schedule of my life. The tricky part about becoming a novelist is that you actually have to write a novel. And talking or thinking or planning to write a novel is not the same thing as writing a novel, the same way that talking or thinking or planning to run a marathon doesn’t move you an inch closer to the finish line. My problem is that I’ve been thinking about my future novel as a dream come true, my own personal happily ever after, when I should have been treating it like training for a race. Both require decisive action and commitment. Both require you to find time that didn’t exist before you needed to dedicate it to something. And I can’t speak for writing a novel (clearly I haven’t, yet), but I do know from experience that marathon training isn’t all rainbows and smiles. There is joy, surely, but it is bundled with hard work, not a little pain, and a deep, exhausted satisfaction.
So, there’s been a slight change of plans. I no longer want to become a novelist. I want to write a goddamn novel. And right here, right now is race day registration: I am making a commitment, I am declaring a priority. One year from May will mark the second anniversary of my college graduation, as good a time as any to have accomplished something. May 20, 2015 is officially my deadline. Cheers.
What are we all doing here anyway?
basket ball hooooooooooooooooooooop
Thoughts on refugees
It doesn't stop raining outside California
Liberty and freedom is what America stands for. We have a statue that towers above liberty island. The token of friendship France has bestowed upon us.
Indoor Tennis - The Kastles
Leelou, porch napping before the inevitable rainstorm.
Hearts on strings
Back in September, when I first moved to Washington - H street festival