I got lost to start 2014.

Not lost. That’s a bad word. Drifting, maybe. A wayfaring stranger. I’m literally looking these words up in the dictionary to double check if that is actually how I felt. We curate what’s real now. I heard Donald Glover say that.

When I’m left to my own devices I spend too much time alone. I want to spend just one day free of self-consciousness. Only one day, because really I know that awareness is a gift. I could sit in an empty room for hours with nothing but my own self, because I have a deep-seeded comfort with the reality of who I am. I don’t know how many people can say that.

2014 needs to be about focus. De-cluttering. My Internet has gotten quite messy, like a workshop I use every day but never clean up. I think I have reached the point where I can’t mentally process having to include one more thing to my online routine. My weekly hockey group wants to create a site on TeamPages so we can all check in and say whether we’re going to be there or not, and it feels like I’m 25 miles into a marathon and some jerk has gone and planted a hurdle directly in my path.

No more hurdles. No hills. Just nourishment and fuel. Scale back. Simplify. Emerge from the fog.