You, dear reader, are much too young, no doubt, to remember the little strings of Burma Shave signs that proliferated along US highways until about the time Eisenhower set up the billboard-free Interstate Highway System. The signs presented verses in successive lines of 2 to 3 words, often in couplets, usually rhyming. This apparently successful advertising gimmick lasted from 1927 to 1963, much beloved by families, especially the children, on vacation road trips. I still remember how my siblings and I would sing out as we demonstrated our fine reading skills:
EVERY SHAVER/ NOW CAN SNORE/ SIX MORE MINUTES/ THAN BEFORE/ BURMA SHAVE
HER CHARIOT SAILED/ AT NINETY PER/ THEY HAULED AWAY/ WHAT HAD BEN HUR
There was nothing whatever gay about these verses, but, they were, in a number of respects, highly gendered. Burma Shave was a man’s product, often bought by the wives. As one of the first shaving creams to hit the market, this new invention had to be sold to both men and women on the basis of its superior ‘softening’ power for wiry beards, its convenience, and most importantly its wiping out the need for a shaving brush.
Gay men of that earlier, and in some ways more innocent, age were never catered for by the advertising industry. And so, it should come as no surprise that they developed the fine art of the double entendre. Gendered pronouns easily gave rise to the kind of ambiguity of interpretation much loved in some gay circles. And metaphors for the shaving brush were manifold (as it were), referring to either male or female parts, as the case might demand.
Consider, for instance, this juicy one, though I can’t imagine how the ad writers thought it would increase their sales:
FOR PAINTING COWSHED/ BARN OR FENCE/ THAT SHAVING BRUSH IS JUST IMMENSE/ BURMA SHAVE
In the eyes of gay men, “brushes” could also signify women as in:
LAWYERS, DOCTORS/ SHEIKS AND BAKERS/ MOUNTAINEERS AND UNDERTAKERS/ MAKE THEIR BRISTLY BEARDS BEHAVE/ BY USING BRUSHLESS BURMA SHAVE
SEVERAL MILLION/ MODERN MEN/ WILL NEVER GO BACK/ TO THE BRUSH AGAIN
Here’s a few more that you might enjoy, even if you’re not inclined to see the suspiciously gay interpretations
SAID JULIET/TO ROMEO/IF YOU WON’T SHAVE/GO HOMEO
HIS FACE/WAS LOVED/BY JUST HIS MOTHER/HE BURMA-SHAVED/AND NOW - OH BROTHER
LETS GIVE THE/ CLERK A HAND/ WHO NEVER PALMS OFF/ ANOTHER BRAND
SUBSTITUTES/ WOULD IRK A SAINT/ YOU HOPE THEY ARE/ WHAT YOU KNOW/ THEY AINT
SHAVING BRUSHES/ WET AND HAIRY/ I’VE PASSED YOU UP/ FOR SANITARY/ BURMA SHAVE
MY MAN WON’T SHAVE/ SEZ HAZEL HUZ/ I SHOULD WORRY/ DORA’S DOES
HE HAD THE RING/ HE HAD THE FLAT/ SHE FELT HIS CHIN/ AND THAT WAS THAT
IF CRUSOE’D KEPT/ HIS CHIN MORE TIDY/ HE MIGHT HAVE FOUND/ A LADY FRIDAY
WE’VE MADE GRANDPA/ LOOK SO TRIM/ THE LOCAL DRAFT BOARD’S/ AFTER HIM
TRAIN WRECKS FEW/ REASON CLEAR/ FIREMAN NEVER/ HUGS ENGINEER
MY CHEEK SAYS SHE/ FEELS SMOOTH AS SATIN/ AHA SAYS HE/ THATS MINE YOU’RE PATTIN’
HIS FACE WAS SMOOTH/ AND COOL AS ICE/ AND OH! LOUISE!/ HE SMELLED SO NICE
BURMA SHAVE/ WAS SUCH A BOOM/ THEY PASSED/ THE BRIDE/ AND KISSED/ THE GROOM
THE HOBO LETS/ HIS WHISKERS SPROUT/ IT’S TRAINS - NOT GIRLS/ THAT HE TAKES OUT
HIS BEARD/ WAS LONG/ AND STRONG AND TOUGH/ HE LOST/ HIS CHICKEN/ IN THE ROUGH
SINCE HUBBY TRIED/ THAT SUBSTITUTE/ HE’S ONE THIRD MAN/ AND TWO THIRDS BRUTE
WE DON’T KNOW HOW/ TO SPLIT AN ATOM/ BUT AS TO WHISKERS/ LET US AT ‘EM
A SCRATCHY CHIN/ LIKE BRIGHT PINK SOCKS/ PUTS ANY ROMANCE/ ON THE ROCKS
BURMA SHAVE/ IS FUN/ NO SOONER SPREAD/ THAN DONE
NO PUSHY/ NO PULLY/ SMOOTH SHAVY/ FEEL BULLY
SAY, BIG BOY/ TO GO THRU LIFE/ HOW’D YOU LIKE/ A WHISKERED WIFE
MY NECK WAS SORE/ IN FRONT BEFORE/ AND ALSO SORE/ BEHIND BEFORE/ BURMA SHAVE
IF YOU AND WHISKERS/ DO HOBNOB/ SOME SAILOR GOB/ WILL STEAL YOUR SQUAB
WITHIN THIS VALE/ OF TOIL AND SIN/ YOUR HEAD GROWS BALD/ BUT NOT YOUR CHIN
Burning the Books
Beginning or End?
Grandad Wade
Beauty
Small blessings #4: Just a touch of rose.
Seven
Glory
Morning Cuppa
Alert