“It’s just me and one other server in the back for the whole night. We usually have five. You’ll probably get off before me.”
You are in your second trimester now, pregnant with our first child, and still working double shifts to help out with our bills. I’ve taken up a second job as well, matching your late night hours with ones of my own.
No matter what I do, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not doing enough for you and our baby. Between the two of us, you’ve always had the more difficult jobs, the longer hours. You’ve suffered more and I know it. I’ll promise you a foot massage when we get home as motivation to keep you going. You’ll agree despite knowing the terms; I’ll be so tired that you’ll need to shake me awake every few moments to keep the massage going.
Second jobs and sleep deprivation might not sound romantic, but this is everything wonderful to me. We exist between the subsistence. I think about this as I take a small break from work. Behind me is the smell of trash, ahead of me is the noise of heavy, poorly maintenanced freight elevators. I sit here, blocking out my surroundings and focusing all my attention onto you. Or the thought of you.
Never has anyone made me feel so gooey inside as you do. I’ve never laughed as hard as I do when I’m with you. A sign of great person is how much you grow from them and my, have I grown alongside you. When you smile at me, it’s perfect. You’ve kept me warm both literally and figuratively. Best of all, you’ve turned everything into an adventure. Even these late nights spent working unrewarding jobs for even less rewarding figures.
Our real adventure, the one we’re cultivating right now in your stomach, is going to test and reward us more than anything we could ever imagine. We may not have everything figured out right now, but we have our fairy tale love and that, I feel, is enough to keep us going through many more late nights to come.
..Staying awake for your nightly foot massages might also help. I’m still working on that part.