I have been telling myself and others lately that I am not a creative person. That I have strengths, and that thinking up original ideas is not one of them.

That being said, here is the dictionary’s definition of creative:

1. Having the ability or power to create.
2. Productive; creating.
3. Characterized by originality and expressiveness; imaginative: creative writing.

I like no. 1. I think that we are creating our reality constantly. Not stumbling blindly through time but manifesting what we believe the future to be. With each decision that I make, small or large, I define myself and what I want.

I am going to stop saying that I am not creative.

There are a number of reasons why I am not writing original stories or thinking of new ways to go about things. Most of those reasons are derived from fear.

In the world view that I was raised with, you work hard for your entire life (at a job that you resent) in order to support yourself and your family. That mentality is based on a sense of scarcity, a fear that there won’t be enough to eat or to buy what we want. My Mom would have a conniption if I dropped out of grad school to become an artist, sculptors definitely don’t get healthcare benefits.

Other reasons why I tend not to push the envelope or think ‘outside of the box’ come from deep-seated fear habits, like the idea that I am not smart enough. For as long as I can remember, I have secretly believed that I am a top-notch follower but not bright enough to be a leader.

That fear habit just sounds sillier and sillier as I grow older and get to know myself and the world better.

I am a creative being- I created those beliefs and therefore I can replace them with new beliefs. It may take time and repetition but I am not my habits.

We carry our habits and fears around like layers of clothing. Shed them off and there is a bright creative being hiding inside, just waiting to shine.