Why do we look to find something that defines us? Why do we fall head over heels into anything remotely exciting? Somebody said that love should be chosen like you would a career, that this whole at first glance shit is exactly that - shit. I have repeatedly (twice) projected my imagination on living human beings and expected the world to get sweeter.

Oh well, it did and now that the rose coloured glasses are off, it’s like I’m left with mud in my mouth. Like you were dreaming of this beautiful cake; and in your dream you cooked it and ate it and now you wake up to find dirt in your mouth. It’s hard to see things as they are. It’s hard because nobody can really see things from too many perspectives. I guess now one must stay like a cloud does - sailing in the wind with the wind’s decisions - the cloud can shape itself a certain way but that’s about all it can do. The wind takes it where it will. The cloud will undergo a lot of change but essentially… ah metaphors have a way of evaporating - essentially nothing to hold on to and only one way to go - onward.