They say the Japanese are inscrutable. Well, it’s only fitting then that from such a people would be born such a place as ROBOT RESTAURANT.

I’m sure others have expounded on the why of ROBOT RESTAURANT. I’m sure others have attempted to scrutinize this place so entirely devoid of logic or context, thematic sensibility or flow. I will not do that. I will not try to explain anything. For great art is inexplicable, arising simply from divine inspiration or insane genius.

In that vein, it is clear that ROBOT RESTAURANT came not from committee — no, that would be impossible. For to suggest committee would be to imply rationality, cohesion, and, perhaps, humanity.

“No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” — Artistotle

ROBOT RESTAURANT is — if anything — an undiluted chaos algorithm born from a singular, mad brain.

I present my notes from the evening:

• Best use of Segway to date
• Samurai
• A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again
• Hey Jude? After a samurai was eaten by Jaws — ridden by a princess in a swimsuit — Hey Jude began to play.
• Copyright costs?
• Ninjas
• You think you have seen scary clowns. You have not seen scary clowns.
• To be a fly on the wall during the investor pitch
• Strangely well rehearsed choreography — incredible precision
• Big, black, soul woman singing Christmas carols
• Robot Gangnam Style
• Tinnitus
• The life path of an 18 year old girl who is now a dancer at ROBOT RESTAURANT
• The remote control men look very, very concerned; should we be very, very concerned?
• Chinese Las Vegas
• Death by cuteness
• Gangster rap — violent and vulgar lyrics accompanying women riding a robot airplane
• No seriously, is this thing going to fall on me?
• More than one small child in the audience
• Secretly a Trey Parker, Matt Stone production?
• So many deaths in the making of this
• A real motorcycle