82 days and too many goodbyes later, I am finally home. No one told me it would be this strange.

September 7th, 2014, 6pm

It was 29°C with scattered clouds. There was moderate breeze.

… Or this hard. To come home feeling so changed having seen and done and felt so much, only to find everything the same as I left it. What a surprise, huh? I have exactly what I wanted - a clean slate - but sometimes it just feels like… not having much to come home to. Not having anything to look forward to. I’m basically starting from scratch. I know that it’s all in my hands to start something worth staying for. But starting (or re-starting, my entire life) is the hardest part, isn’t it? It’s scary, though I know it’s going to be amazing if and when I get around to it.

That said, I need a moment just to let the reality of home sink in. I usually take forever to unpack my bags coming from anywhere, but just a day after I’ve landed, there’s barely any trace of travel left in this room. You gotta keep moving forward.

No one told me how much harder the goodbyes would be being away for this long, traveling this far, meeting people I may never see again. I spoke with a man on one of my flights who talked about how, being the son of a missionary, traveling constantly, he never learned how to take root, to invest himself in other people. Now he’s learned, after years of struggling with it, that the only solution in a life of constant movement is to live in the moment. To celebrate what happened, instead of mourning what’s ended.

Well, it’s my turn to learn that now.

Sanna and Johanna said thanks.

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Aaron Palabyab

Filmmaker. MNL and the world. http://www.aaronpalabyab.com/

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