When I was five happiness was staying up later on the weekends,having the extra cookie at snack time, and being the princess during dress up,Happiness was walking to the beach feeling the sand in between my toes and the warm sunshine on my face, it was the singing along in the backseat to the songs my mother loved. When I was ten happiness was being able to read a chapter book on my own, it was the fact that I could pick the music in the car, It was seeing my little sister grow up and having a baby sister to watch grow up again, was getting two scoops of ice cream at the shop, it was being about to eat a whole kids meal by myself, it was the pure bliss and innocence of not knowing what was to come in the next few years.When I was fifteen happiness was no getting asked why I was wearing a long sleeve in the summer, it was being able to rid my body of the monstrous calories I consumed to get my mother off my back, it was the stinging pain of the razor being drug across my skin because it was the only time I didn’t feel numb, it was the deafening bass of my music in my headphones causing the world around me to fall at my feet, happiness was the darkness my soul felt when i was alone at night. Now that I am seventeen happiness is realizing my size doesn’t control how perfect I am or how happy I am, It is holding his hand and kissing his plump perfect lips, it was seeing that I am more than my father’s mistakes, it is reading books and quotes that makes you rethink something you believe in, it is accepting that my body is fallible and flawed, it is admitting that I know how to slit my wrist to reveal a battlefield but it is time to reclaim my body, it is telling myself everyday that “my body is worth more than to be war-torn and collateral”, it is knowing I exist even when I am not wanted, it is listening to music at a normal volume enjoying the goosebumps. When I am twenty-seven happiness will be my family, the pitter patter of tiny feet on hardwood floors, it will be the smell of my mother’s recipes radiating through the house, it will be being called ”mummy”, it will be a high not a drug in the world could touch, it will be busy mornings and crazy bedtime stories, it will be festive holidays and snow days,happiness will be not worry about the “what ifs?”, it will be hearing my children sing the songs I love from the back seat, it will be the euphoria of my not so perfect memories reminding me everyday how lucky I am.