I just got off the phone with my best friend whom I met on Grindr, yes Grindr. It has other uses.

August 2nd, 2015, 2am

It was 20.6°C. The wind was calm.

I have had a hard time making friends since I lost the two closest people in my life within 1 month of each other, that happened 3 years ago. Obviously it’s hard to trust, hard to express feeling, the list goes on. But, that’s not what this is all about. Not only is Sergio becoming closer and getting to know me on a deeper level than Grindr normally provides but, Sergio is also my first male friend. So I’m learning how to get to know someone on a deeper level minus the sex, and everything that goes along with being in love.

For example, last night I met a boy named Luis, one of those people you instantly have a connection with, I don’t know if this is something you know how to feel if you’ve been in love or if everyone feels this. But, I can tell within the first minute of meeting someone if we are compatible. Obviously, the feeling has to be mutual. With Sergio, it wasn’t this was yet another thing I’ve learned in our 1 month of knowing each other. I used to be the sensitive over emotional, clingy annoyance, Serg has taught be how not to do that.

We’ve never had sex, the furthest we went was a kiss, and he was straight up with me and told me within the first week. I was immediately, “friend-zoned”. Obviously I went through a very quick process of anger, sadness and confusion. But, then realized this was a learning opportunity for me. So I rode it out, and it’s odd having a guy call me at 1:30 am when he gets off work to just talk, not try and come fuck, not to say goodnight. But, just to talk because……. he cares.

Sadly, before I was going to publish this post I had a man on “Hi” make a comment which felt like a typical smutty comment from a washed up homosexual who all they are still breathing for is sex. It’s sad to see and it breaks my heart because, well this will lead on different tangent but, we don’t need to be sexual prima donna’s and I solemnly swear to you, I want nothing absolutely nothing to do with a community that feeds on the insulting, over-sexualized and deviant behavior displayed by many in this community. Grindr & apps like it CAN be used for moral good, like making friends, building beautiful loving relationships but, it is those who want to “pump and dump” that make Grindr the repulsive sex driven app that it has become for most. It will never be that for myself but, to those who want to continue to live their lives in lust rather than what we finally are free to do, which is love. Please continue to live this way, but do not come crying to me when you are 50 years old and needing to fork over your money because you are lonely only to have a struggling kid who wants nothing to do with you, and has to disconnect from his emotions to be with your sad, unfortunate waste of breath for an hour so he can do something beneficial for himself.

I apologize for the tangent, but these are my personal beliefs of this community. We shouldn’t say our community when referring to LGBT people because there are two communities within this group. The pigs, and the innocent youth whom I pray don’t fall into these hell-bound, immoral men who at any moment I hope kick the bucket because there is no need for their selfish ways any longer.

David Wade said thanks.

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Henk Holveck

I'm just a twenty-something androgynous human. Taking everyday to learn and better myself.

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