I don’t want to be writing about this and I especially do not want to be writing about this at 8:00 AM. I know they are natural to the universe and they serve their purpose in the awe-striking ecosystem, but they are also my worst nightmare. Maggots and their writhing white bodies make me scream like a girl, jump on couches and stand still with fear.
I woke up early this morning to get ready for bridesmaid duty. Things to do: shower, don’t do hair or makeup, wear sweat pants, and grab overnight bag filled with the items I will need to beautify when I get dressed with the bride. I showered languidly and shaved my legs while the boyfriend snored a little longer. It was a beautiful Saturday morning filled with the joy and excitement of the celebration to come.
I decided to change purses. I could not wear a solid black purse on such a beautiful day. I pulled my teal clutch from the closet, unwrapped it and began transferring my things. I was not humming, but this is where you might imagine I would be humming. I found some old receipts and thought, “I should definitely take a clean purse.”
This was it. I went to the kitchen to throw away some old receipts, but I did not even make it to the stove. I was stopped short and paralyzed by the first sighting. One little wiggling white larvae in the distance by the farthest window. I panicked. Where there was one there were hundreds. They were inside. They were not outside. They were inside my home. I slouched and and my knees began to buckle. I quickly looked down at my feet expecting them to be covered in a sea of undulating worms. I sighed with relief. My feet were maggot free but I could see one, then two, then three, close to where I was standing. I was clearly on my way to being covered by maggots.
I screamed, ran into the living room and jumped on the couch. Terrified, the boyfriend came out of our bedroom, “What’s wrong? What is it?”
“Don’t go in the kitchen,” I shouted as real tears started filling my eyes.
I know the drama is unnecessary and I know this is crazy, but maggots are my cryptonite. I become meek, indecisive, paralyzed and altogether useless. In a very atypical moment I succumbed and let the boyfriend fully care for me while I cowered and let myself be immobilized. Perhaps I should attack this fear head on and do some type of exposure therapy, but I’m probably not going. I am OK living with some of my fears. I think most of us can agree that maggots are disgusting.
A tiger sits in the shade under a tree.
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I grew up in a sexist household.
Carl Jung and Psychology
Coffee, sunshine, and solitude. All I need now is a song.
Things look different when you look up.
Fine gentlemen of the road: Cameron, Beau and Columbus.
The spring waves left me bellybutton sand as they washed over my sunkissed body.
Rolando Street Fair, 2014