Everyone has an album that they have memorized. Every instrument, every word, inflection. Tash Parker’s Waking Up will always be in my heart. Every sound from this album narrates a part of the last 2 years.

Some songs remind me of better times, and others a love I had hoped to return to. Looking back over the last 24 months, so many things have happened. So many people in and out of my life.

Two years ago I spent every hour of my free time on a bicycle. It was baby blue and the only bit of freedom I had. I rode this bike everywhere. I rode up and down 15th street, 7th street, and Broadway was a personal favourite. My headphones were my armour and my head was where the battle was happening. I was faced with what I thought would be the most difficult decision of my life. My parents said they were moving a few hours away, and gave me two options; Go with them, or never see them again.

Biking tended to clear my mind, and to this day, getting that bike was the nicest thing my parents ever did for me. My parents started taking things away by that point. My cellphone, my dignity, my respect for them, one by one. I started to rebel. My friend F would pick me up near midnight and I would just leave. I couldn’t stand that house anymore. Cruelty, dominance, and revenge had filled every corner and engulfed every shadow.

My parents tried to take everything. I came home one day after school, Tash Parker playing on the stereo of F’s car, and my mum told me to leave. She told me to wipe my phone and give it to my little brother because he deserved it and I didn’t. I did as I was asked. I stayed with F for a week.

My birthday rolled around. My parents took me back in, and at this point I felt like a fancy piece of art that they wanted just so that they could say it was theirs. My birthday consisted of a few friends looking at me with sad eyes and forced laughter. Needless to say that this didn’t help my 17 year streak of awful birthdays.

My parents gave me my little brother’s old cellphone for my birthday and told me that they would only activate it if I moved with them. My friend T gave me some collectable Sound of Music pieces that he took back a couple months later. We’re not friends anymore.

Tash Parker narrated my summer that year, and when I picked her back up the following summer she did the same. She has started again this spring.

My birthday is coming up, and the closer it gets, the larger the brick in my stomach gets. My friends seem to think it’s going to be better this year, but the more promises I receive, the less faith I have.