As all Asian parents, my own instilled the importance of hard work and often frowned upon the idea of play. And though I respect the hard work part, any moment I have the chance to play in my adult life is now shrouded in overbearing guilt, a big pain, especially when it comes to being a freelancer here in Toronto.

“WHAT? I CAN’T RELAX! I CAN’T JOIN YOU FOR FRISBEE IN THE PARK! I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING!” (Keep in mind I am horrible at Frisbee, so maybe there’s insecurity at play here, too.)

I love this city, but for the most part, the only way I can escape this guilt is by travelling. I know, I know. To most, this sounds like the ultimate form of play, but for me, it’s the ultimate form of escape from responsibility: a reason for me to shut down, give work and the constant buzz in my brain a hiatus. But at the same time, as the travel years wear on, my most recent adventures abroad are now absorbing the chaos of my regular life: still plotting, still planning, still devising projects, never letting my brain or camera shutter finger relax.

Then there are these days, when local work itself takes me to the CN Tower in Toronto. I often forget this city is on the waterfront, so with the blue of Lake Ontario and this epic, gasp-inducing formation of low-lying clouds above it, I couldn’t do anything but stop, pause, and absorb the fact that there is something bigger out there, remind myself that I should work hard in my own town but also play hard, too… Play damn hard.

But maybe I’ll start that tomorrow.