I find myself at crossroads more often then I’d like. Mostly, the roads aren’t that radical and my choices would not define what I am to become. Every now and then however, I face contrasting routes, decisions that are in no manner parallel to one another, and it is then that I have to ask myself the ultimate question - “Does it matter, enough?”

Humans being an intellectual species that experience a multiplicity of moments, emotions and feelings often lose track of what really matters. It’s not just about what brings you happiness right now, what gives an impetus to excitement but whether it has the capability to last. We’ve got to be thinking about consequences, repercussions and a whole bunch of presently-avoidable ideas because if we don’t, we’re only going to regret it.

What I’ve come to understand after 16 years on planet Earth, is that majority of the decisions we as individuals need to take are not black and white. They’re as grey as grey could be and that’s probably what scares us the most. The unclarity, the disparity between thought and reality keeps me awake all night sometimes. There are so many roads I refused to tread upon because they were covered by fog. There are so many opportunities I said “No” to simply because they failed the grey test of “Does it matter, enough?” and I have grown to regret most of them. I am at the head of two diverging paths and I do not want to walk ahead only to experience regret. So here, today and right now, I will decide if you matter.

Theory: Anything that occupies space and possesses mass is called matter.

Observation: Yes, you occupy space in my mind, heart, soul, brain and in every cell of my skin.

God, the thought of you has the capability of sinking my heart, breaking me down and crushing my soul. The prospect of you having mass is unquestionable.

Conclusion: You matter.

Note: Do you matter enough?

Enough that I take this road for you?

Enough that I risk it all again?

Result: You don’t matter, enough.

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No, I don’t miss Chemistry.