There are two types of childhood friends. The ones that survive the ups and downs of life. They are there through moves, puberty, and growing up. Those friends you might not see or talk to every day, but you know they will always be a part of your life. Then there are friends that disappear from your life altogether. You may have been best friends for seven years, but they vanish from your life never to be heard from again.

I had both of those friends growing up. My one friend and I have known each other and been friends for eighteen years. We grew up together, we changed into different people together, but we stayed similar, and best friends. We might not talk for six months, but we know that in case of emergencies or major news, the other person will be there, no questions asked.

I had another close friend who was the vanishing friend. She spent every weekend, and I do mean every weekend at my house between the ages of 8 and 14. Then one day she vanished, no real explanation as to why we weren’t friends anymore, but we weren’t. I went through high school without my best friend. Every once and awhile through those years, when something dramatic happened I always wanted to call her and tell her, but I never did. I didn’t get an explanation until I was going into my third year of University.

I learned to live my life without my best friend. I got other friends, I graduated high school, I won awards, all without my best friend. I ended up living in a world where I learned how to do things on my own. She became a distant memory, brought up once in a while by my parents, or an old photograph. Then a few months ago we ended up in the same French class.

It barely took any time at all, after we saw each other for the first time years after I thought that we had parted ways for good, for us to return to being best friends.

Reuniting with an old friend gave me two very distinct feelings. The first being nostalgia, reliving old times and filling each other in on what they had missed in the five years we didn’t speak. I learned about her boyfriend and the reason why she ditched me as a friend. I learned that her family was completely crazy and that she had to cut all ties with them in order to go to University. She learned that I finally found a place where I felt that I belonged, how my family sold our cottage that was in our family for over a hundred years, and how I felt that the world had some sort of vendetta against my schooling.

The reason she stopped talking to me was because her mother felt threatened by my family, so her mother made her stop talking to me. My family wasn’t over achieving, but to a woman who’s biggest goal for her children was not to get arrested, a family where both parents had Ph.D’s, we could be a tad threatening.

High school is always an important time in a person’s life. Maybe even more important for a girl, and I changed a lot in the years between us being friends. I learned to stand up for myself and what I believed, I learned that people weren’t my friends because they felt bad for me, I learned that I actually had some skills, and there were things that made my life worth doing. I didn’t want to slide back into old habits because I reunited with a friend that was at the centre of a part of my life where being railroaded was an everyday occurrence.

Trying to fit a piece of your past into your present takes work. You might have to rearrange your life to make it fit. If it’s worth it, you’ll know. Just make sure that you aren’t holding on to something that maybe should have been left in the past.