I got lost last night while running, and ended up caught by the dark, trying to find my way home up an unlit country road.

Con: getting hit in the head with a low-hanging tree branch

This happens to me often. Not necessarily while running; sometimes while traveling, sometimes when walking home from the store or a friend’s house.

This has happened to me in New Jersey, France, Maryland, Argentina…probably in other places I don’t remember.

Pro: the smell of hay, which always makes me think of watching a baby’s breathing while it sleeps

Sometimes I do it to myself, in fits of defiance or romanticism, intentionally leaving too late to beat the sunset.

Tonight I just happened to try a different route, on a whim. And it didn’t turn into the complete loop I assumed it would.

By the time I discovered my error, the sun was nothing but a thin, red line lying on the foothills.

Con: spiderwebs wrapping around your face

There’s nothing like the notion of evil maniacs hooking you from behind to get you up a hill fast.

But after a few of these, I find myself too tired to think about it, and when I think about it, too tired to care. If someone did accost me, I’d probably just turn in exhaustion and be like, “Nice catch.”

Pro: the moon following you

People tell me often that I’m brave. They’ve told me that in California, Argentina, France, Uganda…probably in other places I don’t remember. It always strikes me like a needle hitting a nerve.

Con: risking loss of life, virtue, material possessions

I’m brave about things like exploring, performing, flirting with strangers, trying things for the first time. Things where you leave as unknown as you came in. To me, that feels quite safe.

I’m scared of things that most people find quite pedestrian. I’m afraid of buying anything expensive. I’m afraid of owning a pet. I’m terrified of a boy getting to know me. I’m robbed of sleep by the thought that I could be helpless against growing fat. And just the suspicion that I might be somehow trapped makes me sweat and shiver like I’m on an OD.

Pro: the sensation of powering forward, as fast as you can, with nothing visible but the foot stretched out before you.

It’s like being left-handed. I do the same things as everyone else, just from the other side.