Wednesdays are boring. Nothing exciting ever happens on a Wednesday.

It’s 6am and my foggy brain is doing its limited best to make this Wednesday an interesting one. The plan, as usual, is to leave the house before 6h30 to go for a climbing session — failing to do so means not having enough time to make it back on time for the company Skype meeting.

Game on.

I decide to start my day with 3 lives, like all good classic platform games.

Level 1

Leaving the house with my climbing gear all packed up at exactly 6h25. Woop, win! 20pts collected! It’s a small task after all, 20 points seem fair. However, there’s no sign of the bus that I have to catch that will take me to the underground station. I can’t even see it on the long road ahead, so a new mission comes along: run to the station and beat the bus. I go at it like a mad man. Running with a backpack is no comfortable task, let me tell you.

After a few minutes of mindless running, I can hear the bus coming behind me. Damn! I’m so close to the station. I try, I do! But the bloody bus beats me to it for a solid 15 seconds. Failing this mission has taken away -5pts, not off to a good start.

Points: 15pts

Level 2

Already in Bermondsey at the climbing centre, I see from a distance that the cute looking girl is there today at the reception. Crap, I knew this mission would come up: Mission: say hi and ask how she’s doing. This is a tough one for only Level 2, who the hell designed this game?!

But I go for it! I compliment her on her fine choice of coffee, a pure black espresso, finding out that she also takes her coffee beans seriously; and we end up chatting for a bit. Hey, mission successful…! 30pts my way, with the added Smile On Your Stupid Face badge.

During the climbing session and already well warmed up, I decide to tackle again a V5 route that has been nagging me for two weeks now. I always fall down on that last move, a dyno, which usually brings me right to the ground flat on my back. But today is different, so I pretend I’m climbing the Rivelin Edge in the Peak District, a tough boulder climb.

Failing to climb this route now means falling to a certain death now. Or in this case today, one lost life.

And wouldn’t you know it, I made it to the top! Hah! My first V5 route ever, well deserving 100pts, of course! Feeling pretty cocky now, I attempt another V5 — I’m spat to the ground after only half a dozen moves… I died, as far as I’m aware, so now there’s only 2 lives left. Luckily there’s the Continue option to use, but I prefer to leave that challenge alone. Maybe with cheat codes, next time.

Level 3

I’ve helped a woman carry the baby stroller up the stairs. I’m the proud earner of the Good Samaritan badge! Oh yes.

Now on the underground, the motion is throwing me back and forth violently, and a new challenge arises: hold my feet in position, don’t fall! Everything around me is extremely hot and I’m not allowed to hold on to anything or else I’ll melt, of course. Hold it… hold it… damn it, by Canary Wharf a sudden stop makes me lose my balance and I had to hold on to the pole, losing 50 pts and possibly an arm. I was so close!

Armelss, I get home, just before 9am. And looking at my massive breakfast with large amounts of Greek yogurt, honey, raspberries and an avocado, I happily realise that this is a life really worth living. I decide that this breakfast alone is worth another life.

+1.

My game, my rules.

Lives: 3 Points: 95 Badges: Smile On Your Stupid Face, Good Samaritan