My little list of uncertainties. 

March 25th, 2015, 3pm

I’m the kind of person who wants to know people inside out. Talk to me, laugh with me, let’s wipe our tears together. Tell me things that you are too scared to hear yourself say, let me in, and maybe, with time I could say some of them for you. What’s your favourite colour? Do you believe in god? Have you ever fallen in love? What was the happiest moment of your life so far? What do you do when you’re free? Are you a tech geek? Do you sketch or write or sing? Are you addicted to any show? Gosh, I thought it was just me. How are you, really? Tell me something you haven’t told your friends. What are you afraid of? …

Let me in; I promise I will try my hardest to make you feel at home. Take your time, think, answer my questions, getting bored? Let’s talk about something else.

Emojis. Which one’s your favourite?

Food, do you prefer sweet or spicy?

Oh my god, do you watch How to Get Away with Murder?

Trust me, I’m a patient friend. Wait sorry, I guess we’re not friends yet. I’ll take it slow. What do you want to talk about? Do you want to know anything about me? Ask anything. Fire away. Something? Anything?

I’m the kind of person who already has a list of things she wants to know about you even before I know your name. A list of questions I want answered for the mere purpose of knowing you. I want to look through different spectacles of perspective and wear myriad shoes, till my eyes are aching and my feet find a misfit. Don’t worry, I’m not carrying out an evaluation of the soul. I simply want a chance at understanding you. Hoping all the while, that somewhere in between your answers, secrets and lies, I find a solution to my own shortcomings and mishaps. You never know, maybe, just maybe, the pair of shoes that you’re wearing, fit me perfectly. How about that? Then maybe, just maybe, we could be adventurers conquering our rough patches together. I understand that we’re not friends yet, I’ll take it slow.

But what if the spectacles you’re wearing, have the power to bring clarity to my life? What if they can introduce a whole new dimension to me? A dimension my eyes had never dared to cast their sight upon. Then maybe, we could sit together at night, satisfying our mid-night food desires while speaking truths that we never thought we could translate into words. Just maybe. Okay, maybe I thought a little too far ahead; I’ll take it slow.

I’m the kind of person who bumps into a multiplicity of ‘maybe’s everyday. Maybe, if I asked about her interests we could find a way out of this awkward silence? Maybe, if I open up, he would find it easier to open up himself? Maybe, if I spoke up for once, this incomprehensible urge within me would stop cutting right through me? Maybe, I should just tell them and not worry about the consequences?

So before you refuse to answer a new acquaintance’s seemingly intrusive questions. Before you come to that ‘unavoidable’ conclusion that it’s not worth talking to, opening up to and letting somebody new in - just pause right there for a second, and think.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s not that bad an idea after all.

David Wade said thanks.

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Ishita Doval

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