I go to such a beautiful school.

Today has been one of those days I’ve been breathlessly taken away by Berkeley’s beauty, while being simultaneously overwhelmed by its enormity.

There are so many different people.

The sea of faces I pass on a daily basis, some familiar, some foreign — I wonder what each of them are thinking. About classes, about a loved one, about … nothing at all?

I don’t know what I want to do.

I’m drifting from one info session to the next nowadays, clinging on to the next bright thing or opportunity, hoping that one thing will pan out but not trying to care too much in the fear of rejection. But the opportunities seem endless here. There are organizations and groups of all shapes and sizes. And yet — size doesn’t dilute competition.

I am not unique.

I realize that as I apply to Haas or anywhere else, for that matter, there is no way I can be completely unique. I’m probably in the same clubs as one, touting the same GPA as another… Although my development and growth as a person will remain unique, my experiences may often lack such individuality. The realization makes me sad, but also relieved.

I am still at peace.

I am thankful for the break I took from everything freshmen year. I am thankful for the time I had to simply try what I wanted to try (dance), explore what I wanted to explore (fashion), and learn what I wanted to learn (linguistics). I will always be thankful for each stage of life and its passing lessons.