I was looking at his face today. Examining it. Turns out he is not that ugly. I wish I did not have these feelings, and if I didn’t have them, I would think that I am a cold person, who is going to die alone. I dislike this. This feeling. Like why? Besides what if this becomes a serious problem and I can not control myself. I am really impulsive, in a bad way. I am going to have to see this person like all the time, for like the next three years. But something which is even scarier about this situation, is that I am seeing stuff. Dreaming about him, seeing blurs of the “future”. I was never that type of person. Seeing a future with a guys, unless they were an attractive celebrity. Like I just close eyes, sometimes, listening to my music, and then boom, this guys face pops up inside of my head. I was looking at his fucking lips today. Trying to convince myself that this is a bad decision. Trying to remind myself what happened last time. I am getting over last time. I am proud of myself of that. This guy is super tall, he is practically giant. Im like a Jack, the beanstalk guy. Short as hell. He can look at me right in the eye. Honestly he is too good for me. Like he’s smart, and he is kind of nice, he’s kind of boring, and everything. He is usually not the guy I would like. I usually have a crush on people who may be gay. Do you know what I am? To my friends I am a hoe. Boy crazy. That may be slightly true. But not entirely. I am also not the brightest. I think he has a thing for my friends. Weirdly, I kind of feel comfortable around. I was running after him today, just because I wanted to talk to him. He just sees me as a friend now. Omg I got friend zoned.
The racial issues
Viewing the whole process of eL Seed's artwork from start to finish was incredible.
Life is hard but is harder if you give up before the road to heaven ends
Oh oh oh it's magic
Run boy, run
just do it
I've missed seeing the train on a daily basis. Living in the suburbs is better and not.
The view from the hammock. First sunny day in a while. Still chilly though.