image: Flavio Dessandre“I save my spit for the next block so they don't mistake a cold for an insult.”
I walk up the avenue toward the lights of Times Square, stopping to spit in the gutter, fighting a summer cold on a warm night with a breeze. I wrote five headlines that will be in tomorrow’s newspaper. Nothing happy. Now I’m meeting my girlfriend in a place I usually avoid, the part of New York that is the least like New York, the part of New York that is hardest for me to love, the part of New York that is the most like the rest of America. I sip a cold beer in a paper bag, and weave between wandering tourists, their eyes toward the sky. Glowing lights ahead, cabbies honking their horns, brakes squealing, random laughter echoing off skyscraper walls, rising above the grinding city noise. I toss an empty can into the trash, and survey the corners for another deli to buy another beer, $2, $2.10, $1.60. Beats bar prices. Shouldn’t be sick still—it’s been a week. Feeling old. Or like a baby. But each sip refreshes. Music, like a marching band, but it’s coming from a bar. A young woman with a purse slung over her shoulder, flip-flops flipping and flopping, glances in every trash can, finally stopping to pluck a large half-eaten pretzel before continuing up the avenue. She doesn’t look homeless or strung out, but she scans the garbage. I walk under scaffolding, through a group of guys wearing cleaning crew uniforms, talking about women, loudly evaluating them as they pass, including the girl with the pretzel. They take up half the sidewalk, bottlenecking the spot. I save my spit for the next block so they don’t mistake a cold for an insult. My girlfriend calls. I tell her to meet me catty-corner from a restaurant with a giant, glowing lobster over its door. I explain what catty-corner means[1]. Then I wait for her in the light of ads beaming suggestions into the outskirts of Times Square. A Coke does sound nice, shimmering red and white Pavlovian lights. There are ads for booze, drugs, clothes, video games, music, all being sold with sex. There are chain restaurants that promise the very same meal here that you can eat in Topeka and L.A. There are signs for businesses that claim to take care of your money, and places to spend your money to take care of your business. No gimmicks like sex needed. Cash is cash, and this is the neon fruit supermarket. I spit in the gutter, and my lungs have new space for air, and I feel better, because it’s the opposite of more is less, and the opposite of subtraction by addition. A mosquito bites me. My girlfriend calls. She’s on the corner waving. She runs toward me, kisses me, hugs me, and I forget about the ads, finish my beer, ride the subway home. But in bed, next to her in the dark, all I see are the lights, and the lights, and the lights.
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